


Just Some Dumb Kid

by stars28



Category: GOT7
Genre: Friendship, Gen, introvert!mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-11 04:12:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17439731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stars28/pseuds/stars28
Summary: Mark was an introvert and becoming an idol hadn’t changed that.





	Just Some Dumb Kid

**Author's Note:**

> And my first fanfiction of 2019 is a GOT7 one. Why am I not surprised?

_“Yeah, the truth is that I'm sorry_  
_Though I told you not to worry_  
_I'm just some dumb kid_  
_Trying to kid myself_  
_That I got my shit together…”_  
**\- LOST BOY, Troye Sivan.**

* * *

 Mark was tired. Not the kind that could be fixed with a good, restful night’s sleep. No, he was tired of having to interact with people all day, every day. But he was an idol, being talkative and friendly was part of his job. He didn’t want to not be an idol, he just wanted some time when he could just _be_.

He reached his breaking point a few days later. His day had been busy with schedule, meetings, planning, practicing. So much human interaction and being friendly. Even when they eventually arrived back at their dorm, Jackson suggested watching a movie together, stating that it had been way too long since they’d done something that wasn’t schedule together. And Mark knew Jackson was right, but the thought of joking and chatting with the other members tired him out. He knew that the others wouldn’t let him get away with hiding in his room and so he found himself agreeing when all he really wanted to do was crawl under his covers and not talk.

The movie was good, except for the part where seemingly everyone wanted his opinion on what was going off on the TV screen. Mark felt himself so close to snapping at BamBam when he asked for some popcorn. That was all the warning he needed for him to pick himself up off the floor and head to his bedroom. It didn’t occur to him that his friends would think it was strange, uncharacteristic behaviour for him; he just knew that he needed to be alone for a while.

He flopped face first onto his bed, taking comfort in the relative silence of the room. He sighed heavily into his pillow. This was all he’d wanted – no, _needed_ – for weeks now.

The door creaked open, letting a sliver of light into Mark’s otherwise dark room, and then shut.

“Mark hyung?”

He sighed again and rolled over to face the ceiling. They would send Youngjae and he knew that this choice was on purpose. They knew that he could never turn away Youngjae. “Yes Youngjae-ah?”

The end of the bed dipped as the younger sat down. Mark curled his legs into himself to give Youngjae more room.

“Are you alright?”

As much as Mark wanted to spill his problems to someone, he knew that Youngjae wasn’t the right person. It wasn’t fair to make him deal with Mark’s stupid introverted habits. In all honesty, he was surprised that no one had ever caught on to how he disappeared once every couple of weeks for a day or so. Although he was always very careful to disappear on weekends, when he had less to do and they (hopefully) didn’t notice. But with their comeback looming, they’d been hard at work almost every day for weeks and it was causing Mark to go a little bit stir crazy.

“I’m just tired.” He lied, feeling a little bit sad that he even had to lie to their resident sunshine.

“Ok hyung.” Youngjae patted his bare foot, “I’ll tell the others, ok?”

“Thank you Youngjae.” He murmured before rolling back on to his front and falling asleep in his clothes.

(-)

According to his phone, which he had put on charge before attempting to watch a movie with the others, it was five in the morning. Surely everyone else was asleep at this time, especially seeing as they had a packed schedule tomorrow, or more accurately, later today. He wasn’t going to lie to himself and say that he was looking forward to another full day of talking with people because he wasn’t.

After another few minutes staring at the ceiling, Mark decided that staying in his room wasn’t the answer. He got up out of bed and changed from yesterday’s dirty clothes into a pair of clean black jeans, a t-shirt and his thick coat. He picked up his face-mask, phone and wallet on his way out of his bedroom, making sure to walk silently. Maybe if he went on a walk until they had to do schedule he’d feel better?

(-)

The early morning air was refreshing to Mark, even though his face-mask. He was glad he’d made the decision to get out of the dorm for a little while. He knew he’d have to go back before anyone woke up and discovered him missing, but even with that thought lurking in the back of his mind, it was still brilliant to be able to walk along the road without being spotted or asked for a photo. It was relaxing.

Without really being aware of it, Mark had walked to the Han River. He stopped at the side of the footpath and stared as the sun came up, chasing away the gloominess of night. The sunrise was beautiful, but it also reminded Mark that it was nearing the time that everyone would be waking up, which meant that he should be heading back. Idly, he wondered what would happen if he didn’t go back to the dorm, if he decided to take the day off without telling anybody, if he had a day where he didn’t haveto talk to people if he didn’t want. Definitely nothing good.

Then why was he wandering even further away from the dorms?

(-)

As his phone rang obnoxiously, Mark just looked at it before putting it on silent. This wasn’t the first call he’d gotten since he’d walked away from the Han River and he didn’t think it would be the last, not while he was still – in his groupmate’s eyes’ – ‘missing’. He hadn’t answered any of them, nor any of the dozens of texts that kept flooding in. What he’d gathered so far was that everyone was either concerned or annoyed that he wasn’t there. But if he remembered correctly, the only thing they had on today was dance practice, and as much as he hated being behind everyone else when it came to the routine, he knew that it wasn’t the worst day of schedule for him to ‘accidentally’ miss.

He was now in a small coffee shop, sipping on his iced coffee and people-watching. He thought it was fascinating how people acted when they thought no one was watching them. He wondered what people thought of him when he wasn’t paying attention.

Mark knew that he’d have to head back to the dorms at some point and face Jaebum’s, and undoubtedly Jinyoung’s, wrath as well, but for now he was going to savour the relative peace and quiet while enjoying his iced coffee. Being an idol and living in a dorm with six other men meant that he didn’t get as much time alone with his thoughts as he’d like. Even so, he wouldn’t change it for the world, they were his friends – more than that, they were his _family_ – and they were living out their dream together.

(-)

Seoul was busier now that it had been earlier, when most of the population had been asleep. He knew that this meant there would be a higher chance of fans recognising him, but as long as they didn’t bother him, he didn’t mind if they took photos. After pulling his face-mask back on, Mark ducked out of the coffee shop and headed down the street, paying no mind to where his feet were taking him.

It was nice, if a little strange, being able to do what he wanted. He hadn’t had chance to do this in weeks and it felt good. He wandered for about half an hour, taking no notice of his phone, which kept buzzing in his back pocket. He didn’t want to go back yet, although he did wonder how they were all texting him if they were supposed to be practicing.

Mark spotted a cinema at the end of the street and smiled widely. He knew what he was doing next. It had been too long since he’d seen a movie by himself. That wasn’t to say he didn’t enjoy seeing them with his friends – he did – but there was a special sort of peace that came with seeing a movie by himself.

(-)

As soon as he’d brought his ticket and found the correct screen, Mark switched his phone off. He didn’t want to be the person whose phone kept vibrating through the entire movie. Plus, it was a valid excuse to not respond to the texts.

He kind of already knew that he’d be in trouble when he went back to the dorms later on, but for now, he tried to push it to the back of his mind and focused on the movie instead.

(-)

After the movie – which had been really good at distracting Mark from the upcoming trouble and his stupid problems – he decided to find something to eat. He’d realized about halfway through the movie that he hadn’t had anything all day apart from the iced coffee earlier, and although he didn’t really _feel_ hungry, he knew from past experience he would be better having something now. It was better than the alternative, which was he kept denying himself food now only to faint later on. It’d happened once or twice in front of his friends – unintentionally – but it had still been an embarrassing to admit that he was the oldest and he couldn’t take care of himself. It didn’t matter that Mark had seen them all in similar states over the years during comebacks, it mattered that he was the _oldest_ and he apparently couldn’t remember to eat enough when they got busy.

With this in mind, Mark walked in the vague direction of the dorms. He knew the other members would be angry at him, but he’d needed this day. Otherwise he would’ve started being _really_ snappy and annoyed at everyone. Staying on track with the chorography wasn’t – for once – as important as making sure he didn’t snap at his friends. He didn’t want to be the asshole who took his problems out on his friends.

He stopped in a coffee shop, ordering a coffee and a sandwich to go when he’d reached the counter. As he stood waiting patiently for his food and drink to be ready, Mark switched his phone back on. The device was immediately flooded with missed calls and unanswered text messages, vibrating in his palm as it worked to collect all the information he’d missed whilst in the cinema. Maybe he should respond to at least one of the texts, but then he’d always been useless at explaining himself when he felt like this. It was why he disappeared instead of talking about it with his friends.

(-)

Mark should have felt insanely guilty as he approached the dorms. He’d finished his sandwich off and only had half of his coffee left. But he didn’t feel guilty, instead he felt… _relieved_ that he hadn’t had to talk to people all day, other than when he chose to. He drank the last of his coffee, the lukewarm coffee tasting bitter to his taste buds. It must’ve been due to the slight feeling of dread that was now coursing around his body.

Unconsciously, he clenched his fingers around his now empty coffee cup and felt the flimsy cardboard give under his fingers. He could almost hear the inevitable scolding he was going to receive from Jaebum and Jinyoung. He just hoped that the light, happy feeling that had gradually built up over the course of his unscheduled free day would stay because he wasn’t sure what he’d do if it disappeared. Something he’d almost definitely regret later on.

Mark swallowed and opened the front door with a loud squeak, hearing the voices of the other members stop echoing from the living room instantly. He guessed he wasn’t going to be able to just sneak into his room without anyone noticing.

“Mark? Is that you?”

He just knew that he wasn’t going to be able to escape for a while. He’d have to explain about his stupid habits and about how sometimes he just wanted to be alone. He didn’t want to know their reactions because he knew that they wouldn’t understand.

“Yeah,” He replied as he bent down to take his shoes off, setting his empty coffee cup on the small end table next to the front door, “It’s me.”

He heard footsteps on the wooden floor and refused to look up from his feet, focusing entirely on untying his shoelaces.

“Where have you been?”

Mark sighed. There was no escaping that voice, not when it was directly above him. He glanced up and found a frowning Jinyoung looking down at him. Shit. He was in trouble now.

“Uh, out?” He tried and instantly winced when all his answer did was make Jinyoung’s frown deeper.

“What do you mean, ‘out’?”

He really didn’t want to explain, but it looked like he had no choice in the matter, looking past Jinyoung and seeing everyone else peering around the doorway from the living room. Standing up, he decided that he may as well go all the way and tell everyone about his tendency to disappear and relax by himself, at his own pace. With luck, this would mean that he’d only have to explain once, rather than multiple times, tonight.

Mark ignored Jinyoung’s question for now., figuring that he’d answer it in a little while anyway.

He walked into the living room, aware of Jinyoung following him. Five pairs of eyes fixed on him immediately and he silently cursed himself for being so introverted. He really didn’t want to have to explain his habits. He perched awkwardly on the arm of one of the sofas, next to Jackson, Youngjae and BamBam. Jinyoung, Jaebum and Yugyeom were squished on the other sofa.

Jaebum was the first one to speak, “I made your excuses to our dance instructor. I’d like an explanation Mark.”

“Ok.” Mark sighed. There was no getting out of this. “But you’ve got to promise me that you won’t interrupt me until after I’ve finished.”

That was mainly aimed at the younger members, who all had the habit of interrupting, but also at Jinyoung and Jaebum. He knew that if he didn’t say it now they’d all interrupt him before his first sentence was out, particularly Jackson and BamBam, and he’d never explain how he sometimes felt. He figured a good place to start would be an apology.

“First off, I’m sorry for disappearing without telling any of you.” He said, looking down at the floor, not wanting to see any of their faces. “But I – I couldn’t do it today. It’s been building up. I – I just couldn’t.”

He glanced up when he heard a confused noise come from one of them and discovered that – just as he’d suspected – everyone was still looking at him. The person who had made the noise was Youngjae and he proceeded to ask what Mark meant by that.

“It means that I get tired of having to talk and be around people.” Mark twisted his hands anxiously. “Short story is that I’m an introvert and I have to recharge away from people every so often.”

“Hang on, is that why you stormed off halfway through the movie yesterday?” Yugyeom asked, tilting his head to one side.

Mark scratched his head, feeling awkward and embarrassed when he thought back to how he’d left the living room last night. “Not my proudest moment, but yes it was.”

“So, you just get fed up of being with people and have to get away from it all for a while?” Jinyoung said.

“I usually try to go when we’ve got no schedules for the day. Like on Saturdays.” Mark explained for the benefit of everyone. Maybe being honest would help him in the future. “But with the comeback looming, you all know that we’re busier than usual. I’ve managed for like a month without any time to myself, but I reached my breaking point yesterday. To the point where I was dreading doing the dance practice simply because it meant communicating with you guys all day.”

Mark didn’t realise that until he’d said it, but it was overwhelmingly true. He loved them, truly he did, but they were all so loud. He just wanted the world to be _quiet_ for a little while.

It was quiet for a few minutes, while everyone digested what Mark had said. Mark felt slightly guilty about expressing his feelings like that.

Then BamBam slapped a hand against his thigh and announced, “I have an idea!”

Mark stifled a laugh in the palm of his hand as Jinyoung and Jaebum rolled their eyes in sync.

Jackson whispered loudly, “JJ Project.”

“Yah! Wang Jackson, I will kill you.” Jaebum said flatly, glaring at Jackson before shifting his gaze to BamBam, “What was your idea?”

BamBam looked so excited he could barely get the words out, “Mark, you could just tell us next time you feel like that!”

Mark blinked in surprise, not expecting BamBam to say that. He responded with, “I… I could do that?”

“That’s actually quite a good idea.” Jinyoung agreed, “At least that way we’d know in advance and wouldn’t have to make up an excuse on the spot like our _leader_ did today.”

“Yah! It was the best I could come up with in a split-second!” Jaebum protested.

From there, the room descended into chaos. Jackson started to talk about how he could’ve come up with a better excuse than Jaebum’s and Jaebum tried to defend himself. BamBam and Yugyeom began to shriek for no apparent reason at all, while Youngjae’s laugh echoed round the room. Mark smiled at his friends, suddenly grateful that his friends were understanding.

“Why are you smiling Mark hyung?” Jinyoung said.

“Just…you guys.” He mumbled, embarrassed at how grateful he was feeling towards his friends for understanding him and even giving him solutions, “I’m glad you’re my friends.”

Mark had no warning before Jackson and BamBam were launching themselves at him, screaming loudly. It was only Youngjae’s arm looping around his lower back that stopped him from falling to the floor. He turned pleading eyes on the other three, who did nothing but laugh at his situation. He pouted until Jaebum sighed heavily and said, “Jackson, BamBam, get off him.”

Once his two clingy members released their grip on him, Mark stood up from the sofa arm and stretched, his back cracking as he did so.

“As nice as this conversation has been, I’ve been awake since five this morning and wandering around the city, so I’m going to have a shower. Then I’m going to bed.” He announced to the room, seeing the shock clearly on his friends’ faces.

“You’ve been up since five?” Yugyeom said, disbelief evident in his voice, “Why?”

Mark shrugged, “Just woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

He turned to leave, but before he could, Jaebum caught his wrist lightly. He twisted around to face the leader.

“Yeah?”

“Mark hyung, will you be alright to do tomorrows schedule?” Jaebum asked.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve had my day off, so I’m feeling much better than I did this morning.” Mark replied, feeling incredibly lucky that Jaebum would ask that, rather than just assuming he was ok to go tomorrow. He had the best members ever.

Jaebum let go off his wrist and Mark retreated out of the room to have a shower and go to bed.

The only thing on his mind was how lucky he’d been when he’d been placed with GOT7. Who knew that they could be so understanding and helpful? Of course, Mark had had an inkling about that, but he’d never really experienced it first-hand. It was nice, and he was glad that he had.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments would be nice.


End file.
